Kesha Watch

Someone got a picture of Kesha taking a load off and making a phone call. This may seem like a boring picture of Kesha just sitting around chatting, but it has me puzzled. Was she just walking down the street and saw this chair and decided to rest a moment? Maybe there was a sidewalk sale at Target. But if she was just walking down the street and decided to sit on a chair in a sidewalk sale, then where is her purse? Is she making her assistant hold her bag while she chats on the phone? And when I say "assistant" I mean sober coach. She probably got a call, conveniently found a fancy chair at a sidewalk sale, sat down to take the call and sent her sober coach across the street to Starbucks for a venti skinny latte. And when I say "sober coach," I mean little brother.

But what really has me puzzled is her footwear. It looks like she went into my closet and pulled out the pair of naugahyde dress loafers I got at Payless for a job interview in 1998. Seriously, look at these shoes.

Not only do these shoes not go with her outfit or her hair or anything about her, they look damn uncomfortable to be wearing without socks. What could she have been thinking?

Wait, I think I have an idea about how this all went down. You see, Kesha was walking down the street, minding her own business, when she stepped in dog poop. Her gold and silver Supras were ruined! There was so much poop it even got on her socks. She dashed into the nearest shoe store she could find, a Payless, and grabbed the first pair of shoes she could find in her size. Kesha tried to go about her merry way, but the new shoes started digging into her heels so painfully that she had to sit down. Fortunately Target was having a sidewalk sale and she was able to take a load off on a darling chair that was 18% off. She gave her purse to her little brother and sent him to a nearby 7-11 to get her some band-aids and a sugar free Mango Slurpee, taking the opportunity to call her mother, who is still in rehab. Mystery solved!

Via CDAN